We were in the park that evening, watching our kids at play, discussing all our mommy issues. Suddenly, one of the little girls came crying to her mommy, her mouth set in a pout and tears streaming down her face. All of us began fawning over her, asking her what the matter was, and barely giving the child the chance to answer. Between her tremor inspiring sobs, she said, “Maya pushed me.”
The initial reaction that most of us would have to that sentence would include a hug and a kiss with the wise words, “go and sort this out with Maya.” Yet, mommy dearest of this sobbing girl asked, “did you ask her why.” It turned out that Maya did not want this little one to play football with the rest of the boys and she did not want to share her mud cakes with her either. So she told all the other girls not to play with her and a fight had followed, which led Maya to finally shove her to the ground. Phew!
We calmed her down and sent her away, but my wise friend said a few very wise words as the young girl took to the swings again. “Women cannot support each other.” We sat in silence as we contemplated this thought and looked around us. Sure enough, there they were – the boys. Playing with that silent language where a shrug would mean “Okay, you can play with us.” And then we looked at the girls, talking nineteen to a dozen and fighting over who gets to be mommy to the line up of dolls. So why can’t women take it easy? Since that question has remained unanswered for a millennium and a half, or may be longer, let us look at what would happen if women were to support each other.
1. We would stop being bitter: If we stop being bitchy, we would stop being bitter. Simple. Imagine not having to talk about how your neighbour hangs up her laundry only at noon and how another sent a packet of potato chips as her child’s snack because she woke up late. Life would be so much easier because we would not be bitter that we do not get to the do same sometimes! We would snap right out of what is expected of us, and settle into what we really want, without judging, without cribbing and without feeling guilty.
2. We would make real friends. The kind we can burp with. The kind we can sit quietly and watch TV with. The kind who will be ready to listen to our bullshit without male or in law bashing. The kind that get you, your back and your need to simply be. The kind who would really call us out on our bullshit and make us see things from another perspective – often, a better perspective.
3. We would be more tolerant. When we stop being rigid and judgmental, we do not just become men. We become evolved beings, which is a tad bit more important that the gender defined roles that we are conditioned to play. Suddenly men and their Mars inspired ways will stop irking the hell out of, because we will not feel the need to understand and categorise the said ways in Venus inspired terms. Capisce? This will actually make us more reasonable, which will leave us with a great deal of satisfaction.
So ladies, leave your preconceived notions of how it should be, do not let yourself succumb to the call of approval and find a way to support rather than judge and condemn. Trust me, you will find much happiness in the simple things and simply let the rest of it go.