So, here’s what happened. I watched the super fancy Ae Dil Hai Mushkil and then, a few weeks later, I watched the super real Dear Zindagi. Both movies ended up doing a tug of war inside my head. The resulting dialogue is here for all of you to enjoy!
Dear Zindagi (DZ): Hey Fancy!
Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (ADHM): Hey Everyday!
DZ: So, what’s up?
ADHM: Oh nothing much. Woke up, had a gourmet breakfast, went jet setting to Paris, had a few drinks, got drunk, peed on the pavement, cried over a break up. About to fall off to sleep while I’m watching Chandini on the loop. What’s up with you?
DZ: Wow, some list that. I cried over a break up too.
ADHM: What about breakfast?
DZ: Dal Parantha.
ADHM: Did you at least get to go to Paris?
DZ: No, but I had to go to Goa because my landlord kicked me out of my house.
ADHM: As in, ‘oh, i only thought that stuff happens in art films.’
DZ: Dude, get real.
ADHM: I can’t. I am too busy being filmi.
DZ: I make films.
ADHM: Will you cast me?
DZ: You don’t have a real plot line.
ADHM: So? Mere paas private jet hai!
DZ: Mere paas career hai. What’s the point?
ADHM: The point is that life should always be in irritatingly fancy slo mo where you reflect on every thought with an appropriate song.
ADHM: You have a better plan to get through this bill paying and then dying bull****?
DZ: Yes. I have a life coach.
ADHM: Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
ADHM: Nothing. Only, your life coach used to be doing the same fancy thing I am doing now.
ADHM: And so did you.
DZ: Everyone has a past. And if you cannot cry properly, how can you laugh properly?
ADHM: Yup, that’s why I cried so well in that break up scene where the heroine had to drag me home from the pavement and slap me into coherence. Method acting.
DZ: Did you take inspiration from real life?
ADHM: Of course!
DZ: Your own?
DZ: Meet my life coach…hahahahaha!
ADHM: I don’t need one. I have a divorcee who likes toy boys.
DZ: Until she turns out to be a bitter pill that you cannot digest.
ADHM: Leaving now.
DZ: On your private jet?
ADHM: You have a better plan?
DZ: With quirky glasses.
DZ: Go home now. I have to sleep.
ADHM: Going home now. I have to paaaaartaaaay!