Dear Zindagi: Why is Ae Dil in Mushkil?

So, here’s what happened. I watched the super fancy Ae Dil Hai Mushkil and then, a few weeks later, I watched the super real Dear Zindagi. Both movies ended up doing a tug of war inside my head. The resulting dialogue is here for all of you to enjoy!

Dear Zindagi (DZ): Hey Fancy!

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (ADHM): Hey Everyday!

DZ: So, what’s up?

ADHM: Oh nothing much. Woke up, had a gourmet breakfast, went jet setting to Paris, had a few drinks, got drunk, peed on the pavement, cried over a break up. About to fall off to sleep while I’m watching Chandini on the loop. What’s up with you?

DZ: Wow, some list that. I cried over a break up too.

ADHM: What about breakfast?

DZ: Dal Parantha.

ADHM: Did you at least get to go to Paris?

DZ: No, but I had to go to Goa because my landlord kicked me out of my house.

ADHM: Oh.

DZ: Oh…?

ADHM: As in, ‘oh, i only thought that stuff happens in art films.’

DZ: Dude, get real.

ADHM: I can’t. I am too busy being filmi.

DZ: I make films.

ADHM: Will you cast me?

DZ: You don’t have a real plot line.

ADHM: So? Mere paas private jet hai!

DZ: Mere paas career hai. What’s the point?

ADHM: The point is that life should always be in irritatingly fancy slo mo where you reflect on every thought with an appropriate song.

DZ: Really?

ADHM: You have a better plan to get through this bill paying and then dying bull****?

DZ: Yes. I have a life coach.

ADHM: Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

DZ: Whazzat?

ADHM: Nothing. Only, your life coach used to be doing the same fancy thing I am doing now.

DZ: Ahem.

ADHM: And so did you.

DZ: Everyone has a past. And if you cannot cry properly, how can you laugh properly?

ADHM: Yup, that’s why I cried so well in that break up scene where the heroine had to drag me home from the pavement and slap me into coherence. Method acting.

DZ: Did you take inspiration from real life?

ADHM: Of course!

DZ: Your own?

ADHM: Ahem.

DZ: Meet my life coach…hahahahaha!

ADHM: I don’t need one. I have a divorcee who likes toy boys.

DZ: Until she turns out to be a bitter pill that you cannot digest.

ADHM: Leaving now.

DZ: On your private jet?

ADHM: You have a better plan?

DZ: Bicycle.

ADHM: Meh.

DZ: With quirky glasses.

ADHM: Where!?

DZ: Go home now. I have to sleep.

ADHM: Going home now. I have to paaaaartaaaay!